10-Day Parenting & Emotional Learning Series • Day 2

What if your child is asking for help without knowing how to say it?

Children don’t always have the words to explain what they feel. Sometimes, worry doesn’t sound like, “I’m scared” or “I’m worried.”

Instead, it might sound like, “I don’t want to go to school.” It might look like anger, tears, a stomachache, silence, or a child who suddenly doesn’t want to leave your side.

As parents, we may see these behaviors and feel frustrated, confused, or concerned. We might wonder why our child is suddenly acting differently.

But sometimes, beneath the behavior is an emotion our child hasn’t yet learned how to express.

Understanding the signs of childhood worry can help us respond with patience, compassion, and connection rather than frustration.

Here are five signs to watch for.

1. Your Child Suddenly Needs More Reassurance

“Are you sure you’ll come back?”

“Will you stay with me?”

“What if something bad happens?”

Does your child repeatedly ask questions even after you’ve answered them?

Sometimes, repeated questions are a child’s way of seeking security when uncertainty feels overwhelming. They may understand your answers logically but still struggle to feel reassured emotionally.

How parents can help

Instead of becoming frustrated by repeated questions, acknowledge the feeling and help your child practice a calming strategy.

Try saying:

“I hear that you’re worried. It’s okay to feel that way. Let’s take a slow breath together and talk about what we know.”

You don’t have to eliminate every uncertainty for your child. You can help them learn that uncomfortable feelings are manageable and that they don’t have to face them alone.

2. Your Child Starts Avoiding Things They Used to Enjoy

Your child suddenly refuses to go to school, attend a birthday party, participate in sports, sleep over at a friend’s house, or try something new.

You might hear:

“I don’t want to go!”

“What if nobody plays with me?”

“What if I make a mistake?”

Avoidance can sometimes be a sign of worry. When something feels frightening, staying away from it may provide immediate relief.

However, if avoidance becomes a regular response, the child may find it increasingly difficult to face situations that make them nervous.

How parents can help

Rather than forcing your child to overcome every fear immediately, help them approach challenging situations in manageable steps.

Try saying:

“You don’t have to do everything at once. Let’s figure out one small step you feel ready to try.”

Celebrate effort, not just success. Walking into a new room, greeting another child, or staying for a few minutes can be meaningful progress.

The goal isn’t to make your child fearless. It’s to help them build confidence, one small step at a time.

If avoidance persists or interferes with everyday activities, consider seeking guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.

3. Your Child Frequently Complains About Physical Discomfort

“My tummy hurts.”

“My head hurts.”

“I feel sick.”

“My heart is beating so fast!”

Children can experience physical sensations when they’re worried. Stress and anxiety can affect the body, sometimes making children feel shaky, nauseated, tense, or uncomfortable.

Because children may not recognize the connection between their emotions and physical sensations, they might describe what their bodies feel like instead of explaining what is bothering them.

However, physical symptoms should never automatically be attributed to worry. They may have a medical cause.

How parents can help

Listen to your child’s complaints without dismissing them.

Instead of saying, “There’s nothing wrong with you,” try:

“I’m sorry your tummy hurts. Let’s see how you’re feeling. Is there anything happening today that might be making you nervous?”

This opens the door to an honest conversation without assuming you already know the cause.

If symptoms are persistent, severe, recurring, or concerning, consult an appropriate healthcare professional.

4. Your Child Becomes Irritable, Angry, or Easily Upset

Not every worried child looks frightened.

Some children become impatient. Others cry over seemingly small problems, argue more often, or become frustrated when things don’t go as planned.

A child who feels overwhelmed may struggle to explain what’s happening inside. Their emotions can come out through behavior instead.

For example, a child worried about a school presentation might become angry when asked to finish homework. Another child who feels anxious about making friends might withdraw or lash out during playtime.

This doesn’t mean every outburst is caused by worry. Children experience many emotions, and boundaries still matter.

But before reacting to the behavior, it can help to pause and consider whether something else is contributing to it.

How parents can help

Start with curiosity instead of immediately assuming your child is being difficult.

Try asking:

“What happened?”

“Was something feeling hard today?”

“You seem upset. Is there something on your mind?”

Give your child time to respond. They may not have an answer right away, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, connection opens a door that correction alone cannot.

You can acknowledge your child’s feelings while still teaching them appropriate ways to express those feelings.

For example:

“It’s okay to feel angry. It’s not okay to hurt someone. Let’s figure out what you need right now.”

This helps children understand that all feelings are welcome, even when certain behaviors need to change.

5. Your Child Has Trouble Falling Asleep

Bedtime can be a difficult time for children who are worried.

When the distractions of the day disappear, thoughts about school, friendships, mistakes, separation, or tomorrow’s activities may become more noticeable.

Your child might repeatedly ask for another bedtime story, request one more hug, call you back into the bedroom, or worry about what will happen the next day.

Although bedtime difficulties can have many causes, persistent worries may be contributing to the problem.

How parents can help

Create a predictable bedtime routine that helps your child feel calm and secure.

You might:

• Set aside a few minutes to talk about the day.
• Invite your child to share one thing they’re looking forward to and one thing they’re concerned about.
• Practice slow, gentle breathing together.
• Read a comforting story.
• Repeat a reassuring phrase, such as, “I am safe right now. I can take things one step at a time.”

Avoid pressuring your child to explain every worry before bed. Sometimes, knowing that you’ll listen tomorrow can be comforting enough for the moment.

If sleep difficulties continue or significantly affect your child’s daily life, consider seeking professional advice.

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What Should You Do When You Notice These Signs?

The first step is to become curious about what your child might be experiencing.

Instead of immediately asking, “What’s wrong with you?” or assuming your child is misbehaving, try approaching the conversation with warmth and openness.

You might say:

“I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual. Is something on your mind?”

“You seem nervous about tomorrow. Would you like to talk about it?”

“I wonder if there’s a worry hiding underneath that feeling.”

Then listen.

You don’t have to solve every problem immediately. Sometimes, children need time to understand their emotions before they can explain them.

Give them the space to speak without fear of being judged, dismissed, or rushed.

Remember, your child may not always be able to tell you exactly what they need. Your calm presence can help them feel safe enough to begin exploring those feelings.

Teach Your Child to Name Their Feelings

Children need opportunities to develop an emotional vocabulary.

When they can identify what they’re feeling, they have a starting point for understanding and communicating their experiences.

Instead of only asking, “Are you okay?” try introducing different feeling words during everyday conversations.

For example:

• Worried: “I’m thinking about something that might happen.”
• Nervous: “I’m feeling unsure about trying something new.”
• Scared: “Something feels frightening to me.”
• Frustrated: “Something isn’t going the way I hoped.”
• Sad: “Something is making me feel unhappy.”
• Calm: “My body and mind feel more settled.”
• Proud: “I feel good about something I tried or accomplished.”

You can use storybooks, drawings, pretend play, or a simple feelings chart to help your child practice recognizing emotions.

You can also share your own feelings in an age-appropriate way:

“I felt nervous before my meeting today, so I took a few slow breaths to help myself settle.”

This shows children that emotions are a normal part of life and that people can learn healthy ways to manage them.

Emotional skills develop over time. Children don’t need to master them overnight. They need opportunities to practice, encouragement when things are difficult, and adults who are willing to guide them with patience.

A Gentle Reminder for Every Parent

A worried child isn’t necessarily a difficult child.

A clingy child isn’t necessarily spoiled.

A child who avoids something isn’t necessarily lazy.

And an angry child isn’t necessarily trying to make your day harder.

Sometimes, behavior is a form of communication.

A child who cannot yet say, “I’m worried about being away from you,” might say, “I don’t want you to leave.”

A child who doesn’t know how to explain school-related anxiety might complain of a stomachache.

A child who feels overwhelmed might respond with anger because they haven’t yet learned another way to express what they’re experiencing.

Understanding this doesn’t mean ignoring inappropriate behavior or removing every challenge from your child’s life.

It means looking beyond the surface and asking what might be contributing to the behavior.

When children feel understood, they have more opportunities to learn how to communicate their needs, develop emotional awareness, and build confidence in handling difficult feelings.

Helping Children Understand That Worry Is Okay

This is one of the important messages behind I Feel Worried… And That’s Okay!

Children need to understand that feeling worried doesn’t mean something is wrong with them.

Worry is a human emotion. What matters is helping children recognize it, talk about it, and discover healthy ways to respond.

Through gentle conversations, comforting stories, and everyday practice, parents can help children learn that they don’t have to hide their feelings or face every difficult moment alone.

You don’t need to have all the answers.

You don’t need to make every worry disappear.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is sit beside your child and say:

“I’m here to listen. You can tell me how you feel. We’ll work through this together.”

That simple message can become the foundation for a lifetime of emotional learning.

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Your Parenting Takeaway

The next time your child behaves differently, pause before asking, “What’s wrong?”

Instead, ask yourself:

“What might my child be feeling right now, and how can I help them feel safe enough to tell me?”

That small shift—from reacting to understanding—can change the way you connect with your child.

Because children don’t always need us to fix their feelings.

Sometimes, they need us to help them understand those feelings in the first place.

Continue the Conversation

Have you ever noticed your child becoming angry, clingy, or unusually quiet when something was worrying them?

Share your experience in the comments. Your story might help another parent recognize a feeling their child hasn’t yet found the words to express.

And if you’re looking for a gentle way to help your child explore their worries, discover I Feel Worried… And That’s Okay!—a children’s book designed to encourage emotional awareness, open conversations, and confidence in handling difficult feelings.

Visit ExploreFeelings.com to learn more.

Remember: Big feelings need understanding, not judgment. And every small conversation is an opportunity to help your child feel heard, supported, and loved.